The person may even call you out on your action, lashing out with anger and telling you that you betrayed your friendship or love. This retort will sting, undoubtedly, but that does not make it true. What you have done by going through treatment to overcome your addiction took a great deal of courage and determination. Your newfound sobriety is a precious gift; yet you remain fragile and vulnerable in these early days of recovery. It will take more courage for you to walk away from the past, but it is something that you absolutely have to be willing to do. Think of this not as betrayal but as an affirmation of life – your life.
Get counseling to ensure that you’re making the right decision. Perhaps a coordinated family effort may convince your spouse that rehab is a better alternative. This could come in the form of an intervention, conducted by a professional interventionist. Whatever happens, remember that you are not responsible for your spouse’s addiction. You are also not to blame if he or she refuses treatment. You may love and care for your spouse dearly, but still not be able to remain in the same house with them.
Whether this involves compromise or complete cutting off from the past is a purely individual choice. It is also important to remember that choices can be changed. With new information, new goals, new friends, hope and courage, all things are possible. Here, then, are some thoughts on leaving the past behind and moving forward to new beginnings.
You may have grown up with the person and can’t envision your life without him or her. But when continuing the association threatens to sabotage your sobriety, you really have only one choice and that is to put some distance between you. You may hear all Review Vanderburgh House kinds of lamentations, pleas for you to reconsider, that the carousing and drinking and using will take a backseat to your friendship. Worse yet, you have absolutely no control over what might happen should things go haywire and you are right there in the presence of temptation.
What if you really don’t want to ditch everything from the past? What happens when you live with someone who is part of your addictive past? At the outset, let’s be clear that there are no universally right answers. Each person needs to figure out the best approach to making a new life in recovery.
Addiction Treatment Programs at Promises Behavioral Health
How can a reasonable and realistic course be charted, particularly when the past seems ever-present and constantly seeks to rob you of whatever small gains you may make? While there is no question that painful memories of the past can wreak havoc in recovery from alcohol or drugs (or compulsive gambling, sexual behavior, workaholism and so on). Every person who is new to recovery has some of this unwelcome baggage that is carried with them into sobriety. The question is, how can the past be left behind so that moving forward can begin? Perhaps even more pertinent to some is what to do when moving forward means leaving the past behind?
- For those in recovery, especially early recovery, starting over tends to take on the magnitude of the nearly impossible.
- At that time, it will be your turn to be fully supportive and encouraging of your spouse’s recovery efforts.
- The point is to do everything in your power to prevent yourself from ever getting close enough to giving in to using it again.
- There will always be times when there are issues at work, in a relationship, or life in general.
Recalculating Your Life in Recovery
But you cannot jeopardize your recovery – even for the sake of love. This should ease the pain a bit and allow you to further explore what life may be like without such influences that may prove destructive to your recovery. Some of your old friends will undoubtedly be the people you used to hang out drinking and partying with. Some may be co-workers or your best friend from college or high school.
Helping People Recover and Rebuild Their Lives
I had to make sure I reached out to someone who would hold me accountable and not leave me to my methods, which proved vital in my journey. Our program of recovery also values peer support, which has brought great success in changing many lives. While it is no secret that addiction recovery is a long and involved process, there is one step that can help begin that path to recovery—the act of letting go. Another way to best deal with this is by not allowing yourself to fall into the negativity of life. You cannot go through life comparing your recovery with someone else’s. If you struggle to get past the first few days and see someone who has just celebrated a year in recovery, do not be mad at where you are.
It’s increasingly common for someone to be diagnosed with a condition such as ADHD or autism as an adult. A diagnosis often brings relief, but it can also come with as many questions as answers. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. New Beginning Guests are required to engage in some sort of community service work. As Vanderburgh House House we believe in family, and we make the promise to anyone who comes to us that you are family when you come to one of our houses.
